Cambodia Adventure Guide

Avoiding toddler tantrums on family trips (or anytime)

Over-tired, over-sugared, over-stimulated… Suddenly, you’ve got a howling little kid and a full-flown tantrum, for all the world to see.

So, what can parents do to minimize the toddler tantrum risk?

Tips for Toddler Tantrums

1. Bring along a good Bag of Tricks
Always bring more snacks and amusements than you think you’ll need. Here are some suggestions: What to put into the bottomless bag of amusements for long trips

2. Be a Mood Manager
The old saying “an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure” is apt for tantrums: it’s far, far better, to spend five minutes reading a story, or looking for a lost Smartie, than fifteen minutes dealing with a child so frustrated she loses self-control.

First point about moods: Make sure your child’s physical needs are met before they become a crisis. Offer a snack or drink long before he’s desperate.

Also: Try to manage expectations. If there’s a danger of disappointment ahead, prepare your child: “We’ll be seeing lots of toys, but we can’t buy one today”; or, “you might be too little for some of the rides”.

3. Watch for tell-tale early signs of frazzled-ness
Now’s the time for a distraction, a treat, a change in pace. When you see frustration start to mount: point out a funny hat, or a cloud that looks like your cat; try a funny voice or accent…

And If you feel yourself getting mad…

4. Try to sidestep, instead of locking horns

• reflect what the child is feeling (“You feel really bad because that Smartie got lost!”)
• acknowledge the frustration (“It’s so hard to lose a Smartie!”)
• try solving with fantasy (“what if we had a million Smarties”?)
• give the child a chance to find a solution (“We’re in a mess. Can we fix this somehow?”)

5. Understand Your Child
Some kids are easier travelers than others: they can adapt to change readily, go with the flow… For others, the reverse is true. An excellent book called The Difficult Child emphasizes nine temperamental traits, including:
– intensity;
– adaptability: does the child deal well with transitions?
– sensory threshold. Some children, for example, are really, really bothered by tiny sensations – like the feeling of the seams in his socks! The parent tends to say: “that can’t possibly bother you!” But: it does.

If a Tantrum Erupts…

The Difficult Child distinguishes between manipulative tantrums, and tantrums that are a genuine loss of self-control. If the tantrum is manipulative – the child howls in order to get what he/she wants – sooner or later you must make clear that this tactic won’t work.

On a trip, however, the tantrum may be a real loss of self-control brought on by overtiredness, over-stimulation, too much strangeness…

The task is to help the child regain self-control:

• stay physically present, holding the child if he’ll permit it.
• be calm and reassuring. “I know you’re upset, but it will be okay.”
• don’t get into big discussions about what’s the matter.
• distract if you can.
• and correct the situation, if possible. (For example, if the child really can’t stand the way his jacket feels – let him take it off.)

Sometimes, unpleasant as it is, all you can do is wait for the bad moment to pass. And though you may feel embarrassed by a tantrum in public: the world will not end. Move on to making good memories.

The fact is, some kids are more restless and revved-up than others; and find it harder to cope with change; and are often extra-sensitive to noise, to smells, to heat, to the tone of Mom’s voice, to the very feel of their socks…

Call it, in a word, a greater intensity of feeling. And it’s often not easy to take these kids on trips.

Here’s some pointers that are good practice with any child:

• Make your schedule very clear.
  Describe the different stages of the trip: how many plane rides, and so on. Maybe even rehearse some parts. Use pictures or drawings with young kids.
• Emphasize that plans can change.
  When unexpected things happen, we all have to adjust.
• Beware of these three Danger Zones:
  • Disappointment
    Intense kids picture what they hope for so vividly that disappointments hit very hard. Sympathize; suggest alternatives; and keep a secret stash of treats and little toys.
  • Overtiredness
    Pace your kids. Give them rests and snacks before they fall apart. What does it matter whether or not you see the Louvre; it’s more fun to sit outside and drink juice. Really.
  • Play Areas in airports
    These spots are wonderful – unless your flight is ready to leave and your child isn’t. Tell your kids about the time limit right when they start to play. Remind them gently. Countdown the last minutes. For toddlers, have some enticements ready, to ease them away.
• Suffer with Dignity
  Of course you never expected to crouch in a busy airport while your son has a tantrum on the floor. But you’ll live through it. Forget the staring bystanders, focus on your child – who feels worse than you. Try distraction; try verbalizing what he feels… And afterwards, unburden yourself by telling a friend the whole story. Years later this might be a family legend! Remember when…?

Prepare. Take lots of snacks, drinks, amusements, (see below) on long plane rides – and, really, everywhere you go.

Pace. Don’t try to do too much! Schedule one major activity per morning, or afternoon; if all goes well, you can perhaps slip in a second activity. (Don’t mention the second activity until you’re certain, though – avoid disappointment!). Pacing also means allowing extra time in the day for some down time, and some wild time: kids need rest periods, and they also need to run around and let off some steam.

Pre-empt: offer snacks and drinks before kids get too hungry or thirsty. Take a break before they’re overtired.

Patience: and more patience.

And perhaps most important of all: Play. Have fun with your kids!

Notes:

Patience actually saves time, in the long run: it’s far quicker to muster an extra five minutes of patience than to spend fifteen minutes coaxing a three-year-old out of a snit.
Remember: even the bad moments of your travels with wee ones will look very precious, once they’ve grown into large-size kids!

For Babies:

• any object that’s bright and new!
• rattles of all sorts
• music-makers
• a few pieces of mega-blocks
• magnetic stick-together blocks
• toys of interesting shapes
• pop-up toys
• safe plastic mirror

Older Babies and Toddlers

• bubbles (to use in the airport, during flight changes)
• balls (for rest areas during car trips)
• nested containers
• sets of things to put into containers
• things that fit into other things
• Busy Boxes with levers, bells, moving parts
• board books
• simple speaking toys: baby pushes button, toy speaks (not too loud!)
• small wind-up toys
• blanket, stuffed animal

Pre-Schoolers

• picture books
• stickers and activity books
• crayons (preferably square so they don’t roll!), felt pens
• lap-sized wipe-off easels
• small mirrors
• finger puppets
• costume jewelry
• pop-up books
• post-it notes, scotch tape
• masking tape! kids have fun just sticking it, unsticking it, etc.
• paper punch, stapler (careful!)
• wrapped presents, or snacks – even triple-wrapped
• inexpensive sets of plastic figures (animals, dinosaurs, astronauts…)
• magnetic letters & metal tin
• miniature wind-up train and track (my son’s all-time favorite)

Pre-Schoolers to Grade 2′s

• activity books
• tattoos that press on with a wet cloth
• stick-on play sets
• travel-size Magna- Doodle, Etch-a-Sketch
• threading sets (pictures with yarn)
• felt boards
• Travel Desk sets
• Leap Frog Leapster- fun games, and kids learn, too.
• small magnetic puzzles
• small wind-up toys
• Go-Fish cards
• silly putty
• colored beeswax (to model with – won’t stick to stuff)
• slappy-hands (a sticky toy)
• walkman, with story/ song audiocassettes
• Pokemon cards and books
• “micro-machines”: really small cars, sometimes sold in portable sets
• miniature worlds: little houses with figures, hand-sized playsets
• yarn: finger knitting, or simple knitting
• a “story bag” – write phrases on scraps of paper; pull one out of the bag, start a story, pull out another one…

Older Kids’ Fun Stuff

• real books!
• Archie comics (still the same, still popular)
• activity kits by the creative Klutz Press, such as Glove Compartment Games
• blank paper, for playing Hangman and Xs & Os
• regular deck of cards
• travel-size Monopoly, Sorry, Snakes’n’ Ladders, Battleships
• Speak’n’Spell
• miniature chess
• Mastermind: a great game for age seven and up- travel-size available
• card sets (such as medieval-style “Magic- The Gathering” IF kids are into this)
• small Lego sets (-store the pieces in Ziploc bags)
• hand-held toys with the sound turned off
• small 3D puzzle sets
• Walkman and portable cassette or CD players
• Game Boy-type handheld electronic games
• BrainQuest

Also for older kids: visit a good kids’ bookstore, and check the non-book items: most children’s bookstores these days have expanded their inventory to include high-quality games, such as card-based games or puzzle games that are perfect to tote along on a trip.

How To Survive Plane Rides With Small Kids

• When booking your flight: select the seats you want, at time of booking. (Remember that kids can’t sit in the exit rows.) Find out if your flight offers pre-boarding for families with babies.
• Babies under two can sit in your lap, but are safer in their own seat, strapped into a carseat; many airlines will discount a seat for a baby by 50%. Combined car-seat stroller units are the most convenient way to get that cumbersome gear on board. Make sure the car-seat is FAA approved for use on planes!
• Keep your stroller until the last possible moment: the stroller gives you mobility in the airport; it can carry a lot of your stuff; and if your flight is delayed, your baby has a comfy place to nap. Typically you can keep your stroller until boarding, and then check it just before you step on the plane.
• Bring three more diapers than you think you’ll need. Also bring zip-loc bags for any soiled clothes.
• For babies, bring several changes of clothes, and extra clothes for yourself if possible (- the worst can happen). An extra t-shirt for older kids can come in handy, too: it seems to be easy to spill drinks on planes!
• For bottle-feeding babies, bring ready-made formula (small size), or powdered formula and bottled water.
• Bring water or juiceboxes: it may be a long time before the flight attendants can bring drinks. Also, very few domestic flights these days serve any meals, so be sure to feed the kids before your flight and/or bring food along.
• Bring along a plastic food container for storing a half-eaten or an untouched meal, for later. For example, on long flights meals are still provided but kids are sometimes fast asleep when the food is served. A food container is also useful if you grab a meal in the airport and your child only eats a bite or two: take the rest on the plane.
  Bring baby-wipes even with older kids, to clean up dribbles down shirt-fronts, spills, etc.
• Take plenty of amusements: inexpensive novelties – in three layers of wrapping – work wonders. Smarties or other treats can be priceless, too.
• Don’t give out your loot (treats, toys, etc.) too soon! Make sure to hold back enough surprises to last the whole trip.
• IMPORTANT:
  • To avoid ear pressure problems, have babies either nurse, or suck their bottles during takeoffs and landings; small kids can suck on a candy or chew gum.
  • With tiny kids, expect to spend pretty much every minute taking care of them. Forget that in-flight movie; you can watch it when they’re nine, and think it’s a huge luxury.

How to Unblock Ears in Airplanes

As airplanes descend prior to landing, air pressure in the cabin increases. This can cause your ear drums to “pop” as they automatically adjust to the airplane’s pressure changes.

ADJUSTING YOUR EARS

• If your ear drums don’t automatically pop, there are serveral ways to help them to adjust to the pressure changes on board.
• Yawning is the easiest way to adjust your ears on board. You can also simply harden the back of your tongue.
• Another way to adjust your ears is to hold your nostrils and very gently blow out while keeping your mouth shut. Careful! If you blow too hard you can damage your ears.
• For infants, offer them something to suck and swallow. This works well for adults, too, as does chewing gum.
• Avoid decongestants. Side-effects (dry mouth and drowsiness) exacerbate jetlag.

EASE EAR PAIN

Aerotitis, aka “blocked ear,” is very painful and takes place when an ear does not adjust to the airplanes pressure changes. It is often experienced by passengers with colds and ear infections.

The following steam/heat remedy usually clears the blocked ear in seconds.

• Place an airline paper cocktail napkin in the bottom of a small wax-coated drinking cup (found at galley and lavatory drinking water dispensers).
• Add boiling water from a galley hot-water spigot covering the paper napkin. If you quickly pour off the water, the napkin will steam.
• After you are sure you have drained off every drop of hot water, tip your head and place the little cup with hot steaming paper over your ear. Pain eases in moments as the steam reaches your eustachian tube.

FLYING WITH A COLD

It’s common knowledge that viruses recirculate in the cabin air.

• If you plan to fly and have a head cold, please consider canceling, out of compassion for the health of everyone else on board.
• If you do have to fly, wear a surgical mask to keep your germs to yourself!
• A note from your doctor used to ensure that you did not have to pay a “no-show” penalty when cancelling for medical reasons. Though this is no longer guaranteed, it may still be possible with some effort on your part.

Travel health depends on your pre departure preparations, your day-to-day health care while traveling and how you handle any medical problem or emergency that does develop. While the list of potential dangers can seem quite frightening, with a little luck, some basic precautions and adequate information few travelers experience more than upset stomachs.

Pre-Departure Preparations

Health Insurance

A travel insurance policy to cover theft, loss and medical problems is a wise idea. Check the small print:

• Some policies specifically exclude “dangerous activities” which can include scuba diving, motorcycling, even trekking. If such activities are on your agenda you will need another sort of policy. A locally acquired motorcycle license may not be valid under your policy.
• You may prefer a policy which pays doctors or hospitals directly rather than you having to pay on the spot and claim later. If you have to claim later make sure you keep all documentation. Some policies ask you to call back (collect) to a center in your home country where an immediate assessment of your problem is made.
• Check if the policy covers ambulances or an emergency flight home. You may also need to cover the expanse of an additional person to accompany you in the case of certain illnesses. If you have to stretch out you will need two seats and somebody has to pay for them!

Health Preparation

• Make sure you and your children are healthy before you start traveling. If you are embarking on a long trip make sure your teeth are OK; there are lots of places where a visit to the dentist would be the last thing you’d want to do.
• If children wear glasses take a spare pair and the prescription. Losing glasses can be a real problem, although in many places you can get new spectacles made up quickly, cheaply and competently.
• If your kids require a particular medication take an adequate supply, as it may not be available locally. Take the prescription or, better still, part of the packaging showing the generic rather than the brand name (which may not be locally available), as it will make getting replacements easier. It’s a wise idea to show you legally use the medication – it’s surprising how often over-the-counter drugs from one place are illegal or even banned in another country without a prescription.

Immunizations

• Vaccinations provide protection against diseases you might meet along the way. For some countries no immunizations are necessary, but the further off the beaten track you go the more necessary it is to take precautions.
• It is important to understand the distinction between vaccines recommended for travel in certain areas and those required by law. Essentially the number of vaccines subject to international health regulations has been dramatically reduced over the last 10 years. Currently yellow fever is the only vaccine subject to international health regulations.
• Vaccination as an entry requirement is usually only enforced when coming from an infected area.
• All vaccinations should be recorded on an International Health Certificate, which is available from your physician or government health department.
• Plan ahead for getting your vaccinations: some of them require an initial shot followed by a booster, while some vaccinations should not be given together. It is recommended you seek medical advice at least six weeks prior to travel.
• Most children from Western countries will have been immunized against various diseases during childhood but your doctor may still recommend booster shots against measles or polio, diseases still prevalent in many developing countries. Apart from these, special vaccinations are not normally given to children under 12 months of age. Talk to your doctor.
• The period of protection offered by vaccinations differs widely and some are contra-indicated if you are pregnant or likely to become pregnant within three months of the vaccination.
• The possible list of vaccinations includes:
  • Smallpox: Smallpox has now been wiped out worldwide, so immunization is no longer necessary.
  • Cholera: Not required by law. Protection is poor and it lasts only six months. It is contra-indicated in pregnancy.
  • Tetanus & Diphtheria: Boosters are necessary every 10 years and protection is highly recommended.
  • Typhoid: Available either as an injection or oral capsules. Protection lasts from one to three years and is useful if you are traveling for long periods in rural, tropical area. You may get some side effects such as pain at the injection site, fever, headache and a general feeling of being unwell. A new single-dose injectable vaccine, which appears to have few side effects, is now available but is more expensive. Side effects are unusual with the oral form but stomach cramps may be one of these.
  • Infectious Hepatitis: The most common travel-acquired illness which can be prevented by vaccination. Protection can be provided in two ways – either with the antibody gamma globulin or with a new vaccine called Havrix. Havrix provides long-term immunity (possibly more than 10 years) after an initial course of two injections and a booster at one year. It may be more expensive than gamma globulin but certainly has many advantages, including length of protection and ease of administration. It takes about three weeks to provide satisfactory protection – hence the need for careful planning prior to travel. Gamma globulin is not a vaccination but a ready-made antibody which has proven very successful in reducing the chances of hepatitis infection. Because it may interfere with the development of immunity, it shouldn’t be given until at least 10 days after administration of the last vaccine needed; it should also be given as close as possible to departure because it is at its most effective in the first few weeks after administration and the effectiveness tapers off gradually between three and six months.
  • Yellow Fever: Protection lasts 10 years. Vaccination is contra-indicated during pregnancy but if you must travel to a high-risk area it is probably advisable. Check with your doctor.
  • Meningitis: This vaccination is recommended for visitors to Nepal and for visitors to some areas of Africa and Brazil. It is given as a single injection and gives immunity for up to three years duration.
  • Tuberculosis: TB is widespread throughout the developing world. Most Westerners will have been vaccinated at some time during their school years. For children vaccination is not deemed necessary unless they will be spending prolonged periods (say up to a year) in an area of risk.

Basic Rules

Care in what you eat and drink is the most important health rule. Stomach upsets are the most likely travel health problem (between 30% and 50% of travelers in a two-week stay experience this) but the majority of these upsets will be relatively minor. Don’t become paranoid; trying the local foods is part of the experience of travel, after all.

WATER, JUICE & DAIRY PRODUCTS

• The number-one rule is do not drink the water that includes ice. If you don’t know for certain that the water is safe always assume the worst. Reputable brands of bottled water or soft drinks are generally fine, although in some places bottles refilled with tap water are not unknown. Only use water from containers with a serrated seal – not tops or corks.
• Take care with fruit juice, particularly if water may have been added.
• Milk should be treated with suspicion, as it is often unpasteurized. Boiled milk is fine if it is kept hygienically and yogurt is always good.
• Tea or coffee should also be OK, since the water should have been boiled.
  In hot climates make sure your children drink enough – don’t rely on them feeling thirsty to indicate when they should drink. If you are breast feeding be prepared to feed much more frequently, or remember to give frequent additional drinks from a bottle. Always carry a water bottle with you on long trips. Not needing to urinate or very dark yellow urine is a danger sign.
• Excessive sweating can lead to loss of salt and therefore muscle cramping. Salt tablets are not a good idea as a preventative, but in places where salt is not used much, adding salt to food can help.

FOOD

• There is an old colonial adage which says: “If you can cook it, boil it or peel it you can eat it… otherwise forget it”.
• Salads and fruit should be washed with purified water or peeled where possible.
  Ice cream is usually OK if it is a reputable brand name, but beware of buying it from street vendors in developing countries in case the ice cream has melted and been refrozen.
• Thoroughly cooked food is safest but not if it has been left to cool or if it has been reheated.
• Shellfish such as mussels, oysters and clams should be avoided as well as undercooked meat, particularly in the form of mince. Steaming does not make shellfish safe for eating.
• If a place looks clean and well-run and if the vendor also looks clean and healthy, then the food is probably safe. In general, places that are packed with travelers or locals will be fine, while empty restaurants are questionable. Busy restaurant means the food is being cooked and eaten quickly with little standing around and is probably not being reheated.

NUTRITION

• If your food is poor or limited in availability, if you’re traveling hard and fast and missing meals, or if your children simply lose their appetite, they can soon start to lose weight and place their health at risk.
• Make sure you have a well-balanced diet. Eggs, tofu, beans, lentils and nuts are all safe ways to get protein.
• Fruit you can peel (bananas, oranges or mandarins for example) is always safe and a good source of vitamins.
• Try to eat plenty of grains in the form of rice and bread.
• Remember that although food is generally safer if it is cooked well, overcooked food loses much of its nutritional value.
• If your diet isn’t well balanced or if food intake is insufficient, it’s a good idea to take vitamin and iron pills.

Medical Kit

• A small, straightforward medical kit put together with special thought for children’s ailments is a wise thing to carry.
• Make sure that you know the appropriate children’s dose of any medicines you are carrying, and that they are in fact suitable for children.
• Ideally, antibiotics should be administered only under medical supervision and should never be taken indiscriminately. Take only the recommended dose at the prescribed intervals and continue using the antibiotic for the prescribed period, even if the illness seems to be cured earlier.
• Antibiotics are quite specific to the infections they can treat. Stop immediately if there are any serious reactions and don’t use the antibiotic at all if you are unsure that you have the correct one for the infection.
• In Indochina, if a medicine is available at all it will generally be available over the counter and the price will be much cheaper than in the West. However, be careful when buying drugs in developing countries, particularly where the expiration date may have passed or correct storage conditions may not have been followed.
  Bogus drugs are common and it’s possible that drugs which are no longer recommended, or have even been banned in the West are still being dispensed here.
• What you should bring along
  • Infant analgesic – with measuring cup or dropper
  • Antihistamine (such as Benadryl) – useful as a decongestant for colds, allergies, to ease the itch from insect bites or stings or to help prevent motion sickness. Antihistamines may have a sedative effect and interact with alcohol so care should be taken when using them.
  • Antibiotics – useful if you’re traveling well off the beaten track, but it must be prescribed and you should carry the prescription with you. Some people are allergic to commonly prescribed antibiotics such as penicillin or sulfa drugs.
    Kaolin preparation (Pepto-Bismol, Imodium) – for stomach upsets.
  • Rehydration mixture – for treatment of severe diarrhea. This is particularly important if traveling with children who dehydrate easily. An electrolyte mixture is available in sachets.
  • Antiseptic (like Dettol or Betadine), mercurochrome and antibiotic powder or similar “dry” spray – for cuts and grazes.
  • Calamine lotion – to ease irritation from sunburn, bites or stings.
  • Bandages, band-aids, gauze and cotton wool – for minor injuries.
  • Scissors, tweezers and a thermometer/fever strips – mercury thermometers are prohibited by airlines.
  • Insect repellent, sun block, suntan lotion, chap stick – check that it is suitable for children’s skin.
  • Water purification tablets.
  • Diaper rash cream, teething gel – for predictable ailments.
  • Worm treatment, lice shampoo, anti-fungal powder – for treatment of minor but irritating health problems.
  • A couple of syringes – in case you need injections in a country with medical hygiene problems. Ask your doctor for a note explaining why you are carrying them.